5 Take-Aways from the Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria Workshop

#1.) There is a very large percentage of folks in the ADHD population who experience Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD). And probably a lot of people in general. The most important thing I believe is to make it an exclusive feeling club where some don't feel like they are allowed to belong. If there is something that tugs your curiosity, it might be worth exploring... #2.) A lot of folks feel stuck with determining what rejection is "real" (validated) and what is "perceived" (a response that is considered out of prooportion by most people). The language can be confusing for feeling sane, acceptable, etc. The question came up, "Does it matter if rejection is real or perceived?" This could be a discussion in itself. I am moving outside of this binary to imagine impact of an experience and how to move from that forward. Looking at yourself from a fresh perspective of who you are and your needs to feel supported in growing and getting through this existence is real. #3.) The power of awareness: multiple people have shared with me that naming that RSD is happening is helpful. Indeed, I have tried this, and it does seem to take some of the shame and intensity out of the experience, and helps me feel like "oh, yeah, it's this thing, I am not a terrible person or unlovable or whatever negative messaging I have spun into in the past. It just feels bad in those instances within emotions and body, yet I simultaneously can logic that I do not believe the initial scripts that flash through my mind when I name RSD. #4.) DBT skills can help. A lot of people who have been through DBT training expressed that using these learnings has been complimentary to managing bad bouts with RSD. I think RSD is a well rounded collection of training on managing emotions, using sensory, mindfulness, and interpersonal skills to stabilize self and relationships. Truly, DBT could be a curriculum taught in school :) I tend to lack the discipline and mindset to be a DBT therapist, I love being creative and off the beaten trail too much, and I see it's value and place in the field. <3 #5.) The number ONE transformative way for overcoming RSD in my Survey Monkey was Corrective Emotional Experiences. A corrective emotional experience is when a situation turns out different and better than the pattern you have followed in life. It's an anomoly that is wonderful, and can show you what is possible, that you can be more, be different, and do not have to subscribe to bend to an external projection or judgement about yourself. It's when you show yourself that things can feel more natural and right for you individually. For me, when I visited San Francisco, and saw the funky vibe, when I met others that felt different like I am, when I could break through my shell of fear for not fitting into the exposed environment I am suppossed to be in most of the time (and I feel like an alien), those moments when I realize I am not an alien, or if I am, I have some company with other aliens from exposure to others being boldly outside the norm, that is what a Corrective Emotional Experience is for me. I feel creative and artistic, yet unskilled and clumsy. How can these co-exist and be entwined in my sense of self? It asks me to hold opposites, not always represented, so when I meet others who either accept me as I am or are similar, that's when I experience that Emo. Corrective Experience. It does wonders for my RSD, because it helps me feel alright that there might be a purpose and place for someone like me.